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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752558">We Are (Not) Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyAndAmnesia/pseuds/AmyAndAmnesia'>AmyAndAmnesia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Defense of the Ancients | Dota, Dota 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Collars, Denial of Feelings, Hide and Seek, M/M, Xenophilia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:28:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyAndAmnesia/pseuds/AmyAndAmnesia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Strygwyr talks about his feelings for Gondar. Gondar doesn't need any feelings. Or does he?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gondar the Bounty Hunter/Strygwyr the Bloodseeker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Are (Not) Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxpaiscia/gifts">sxpaiscia</a>.</li>


        <li>
            A translation of

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/608710">Мы (не) вместе</a> by Амелия Шмелия.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Strygwyr and Gondar play their game again. They both are the hunters, they both are the prey, the winner is the one who gets lucky; kill, or be killed. They know the rules very well, and there is no need to repeat. While one of them lurks in invisibility, tiptoeing around every bush, hides in the shadows to wait out, the other, as he smells blood, is dashing headlong (weren't it for his mask, his face would have been whipped by branches) and circling the marge. <em>Where, where, where are you?</em>  Suddenly, he hears a rustle but there is no wind... Strygwyr turns around and runs Gondar down but only for Gondar to dodge his blades and disappear.</p><p>Gondar breaks away and hides amidst the trees in Dire's woods. He has already licked his small, almost playful wounds; still, he will wait a bit more. He makes sure that he is not bleeding anymore. Now he can come closer. He proceeds to observe from such a distance, where the tower cannot reveal his invisibility. He sees, hears, and feels his favorite enemy rushing about the lane, ruthlessly tearing the creeps apart, and reveling in this gory battle. He fights the unequal and gets furious. He gets furious and kills even more. How can he have missed the attack? He has lost his obsession, his most desired prey, and is reduced to hunting inferior creatures. Pathetic. Gondar hears Strygwyr growl in irritation like a dog that has been denied its treat but he knows that it turns him on. So he just chuckles. Gondar is a bounty hunter, that's right, but he also is a hunter for joy. The same goes for Strygwyr, the Bloodseeker, who, in fact, seeks not just for blood...</p><p>Gondar is incredibly good at disguise. No one could have ever spot him. He leaves clues and leads only for Strygwyr. He wants Strygwyr to find him. It turns him on, this hide-and-seek game. Now he is prowling towards a bunch of creeps, who keep on battling each other, oblivious to him; he is so close to Strygwyr that the latter can smell him - but only for a moment. He decapitates some poor creep, gives a smirk, and disappears again, leaving behind a subtle smell (which is not really subtle for Strygwyr's incredibly sensitive nose) and a few droplets of blood on the ground.</p><p>Then the dog perks up and chases the cat. He knows that now he won't lose, and he finally catches Gondar...  </p><p>"Enough hide-and-seek!" he says, victoriously.</p><p>...or no?</p><p>Gondar sneaks out at the last moment; before Strygwyr knows it, he is attacked from behind. Next second, he is pressed to the tree, a cold blade tickling his neck.</p><p>“That was easy,” Gondar comments with a mischievous smile.</p><p>“You sneaky coward!” Strygwyr growls.</p><p>“Me? A coward?” Gondar snorts. “Better look out, stupid dog. Sense of smell, ever heard of that?”</p><p>Gondar chuckles again and gives Strygwyr a playful bite on the neck. He knows where it's going. Strygwyr will become even more furious, he will break out of his grip and push him onto the ground with all his might. He will jump on him and breathe hard, not even be able to say a word, except for primitive animal groans and moans. That’s how it goes.</p><p>A thud and a rustle. Strygwyr presses Gondar down to the ground with his weight, his lower body also being pressed to Gondar’s loins. Gondar likes it but should not show it. He has won today; he is the one in control now. That’s why he cannot just give in to the emotion, like Strygwyr has already done. A calm smile on his face, he pulls something out of his pocket and shakes it before Strygwyr’s eyes. The Bloodseeker’s attention is immediately drawn to it. Gondar feels even more satisfied with his idea… and he is touched for some reason. This is sudden and inappropriate.</p><p>Brushing this feeling off, he shakes his ears a bit and mocks, “Good boy… will you wear it for me?”</p><p>Hanging from his hand is a black leather collar, a symbol of submission and possession. Gondar sees it this way and wants Strygwyr to see the same. He expects the Bloodseeker to go mad. He counts on it: the angrier Bloodseeker is, the better the sex will be. For some reason, the Bloodseeker seems to be… puzzled. Can he not understand? Or, he does understand… but in his own way? Gondar frowns. It can’t be good.</p><p>Unfortunately, he is right.</p><p>The Bloodseeker accepts the collar and raises on his knees, slowly. With a deadly serious face, he puts it on his neck and says, “Yes, I will. Not as a sign of defeat, though.”</p><p>He stares right into Gondar’s eyes. Gondar clings onto the hope that he has actually accepted the rules of the game, just switched his role to the Proud and Untamable, so he starts, “If it’s not defeat, then it is…”</p><p>“Gratitude. A sign of gratitude.”</p><p>Of course… Gondar has already forgotten that he’s dealing with a fanatic. He snorts and asks, “What does this have to do with the Twins?”</p><p>“I’m not talking about the Twins,” Strygwyr shakes his head, “I’m talking about you.”</p><p>Gondar is taken off guards and does not answer. He does not like how his heart twitches at this moment. He does not like this sentimentality. Strygwyr is looking at him expectantly. Gondar’s ears are shaking. He jumps on his feet.</p><p>“You had to ruin it, didn’t you?” he grumbles, as he dusts off; the arousal is gone.</p><p>The moment he makes a step away, Strygwyr catches him by the hand.</p><p>“Where are you going?” he asks, firmly.</p><p>Gondar escapes his grip, while inside he is dying to escape it all. He always does it when the Bloodseeker starts talking about feelings, and then things become normal again. Fighting, hunting, hide-and-seek, blood play, and that’s it. Strygwyr is a close-to-perfect sex partner for Gondar, only recently he has become preoccupied with this idea that all of this has to mean something. This is sudden and inappropriate. <em>Highly</em> inappropriate.</p><p>“Stop!” Strygwyr growls. “You can’t hide forever!”</p><p>Gondar doesn’t stop. He keeps on walking and hears Strygwyr follow him but doesn’t even turn his head.</p><p>“Yes I can,” he states firmly.</p><p>“I will find you everywhere,” Strygwyr states as firmly as well. “No sense in running away now.”</p><p>Strygwyr always moves so fast so it should be expected that he will soon catch up with Gondar and put his hand on his shoulder. That’s how it goes. Gondar rolls his eyes but, for some reason, stops in his tracks. He can throw the hand off his shoulder and keep on adamantly walking away but he doesn’t. He just does not do it. However, he will not look Strygwyr in the eye. This would be… unbearable.</p><p>“Why are you angry?”</p><p>The question jabs him as if a sharp lance, and he cannot bear one thought: <em>the dog has scented out what’s going on in the cat’s mind.</em></p><p>“Because this doesn’t mean anything,” he replies, dryly.</p><p>“Quite the opposite!” Strygwyr becomes quite vehement. “I was trying to prove it. I showed my feelings to you!”</p><p>Gondar breathes out. Strygwyr has got it all wrong. Gondar does not need any feelings or attachments. Gondar does not want it to mean anything. Gondar does not want to be vulnerable.</p><p>“There’s no need in making things so complicated,” he says out loud.</p><p>Strygwyr shakes his head – Gondar cannot see it but he imagines it very well because Strygwyr always does it.</p><p>“The one who’s complicating things is you. I listen to my instincts. I tell the truth. And you… you run and hide.”</p><p>
  <em>Unbearable.</em>
</p><p>Gondar turns to him abruptly, but his voice sounds dryly, “Listen to me, Strygwyr. We are nothing to each other.”</p><p>He doesn't maintain the eye contact while talking. He is instead looking at the painting on his mask. He is studying the lines and curves without interest and doesn’t want to know the meaning. He doesn’t want them to mean anything. This is just ridiculous. Just some doodles on the wood and nothing more. That’s how it should be between them, between Gondar and Strygwyr. Why does he hesitate? Why is he waiting for Strygwyr’s objections? It may be due to the fact that Strygwyr has done it before. This is a logical sequence of events. But maybe it’s something entirely different… Gondar doesn’t know and doesn’t want to admit that there is such a possibility.</p><p>Strygwyr asks, impatiently, “Why are we here now, then? Why are we together?”</p><p>The last word wounds him even worse than a knife would. <em>Together.</em> Gondar hisses.</p><p>“We are not together.”</p><p>He cannot see Strygwyr’s face so he doesn’t know his emotion at the moment. Strygwyr doesn’t show anything. He keeps silent. Thinking, probably. Gondar wants to feel irritated: <em>he’s thinking all the time, this stupid dog, and can’t even get such a simple thing!</em> But suddenly, he feels anxious, and the anxiety is so deep that he cannot understand where it is coming from. Or, he doesn’t want to.</p><p>He barely catches Strygwyr’s question, “So I mean nothing to you?”</p><p>Gondar remains silent. He doesn’t know what to say. Fortunately, Strygwyr goes on, “Still it doesn’t change my… attachment to you.”</p><p>And here Gondar finds a straw to hang on. He spits out in his usual manner, “You know that I can’t take this sort of thing. I can’t be attached to anyone.”    </p><p>The next question follows immediately.</p><p>“Why?”      </p><p>Gondar hisses again, now with more anger, “Because!”</p><p>He wants to breathe out and relax. Not to think about it. Not to be here. Not to suffer Strygwyr’s expectant look on him. He doesn’t know what he's counting on but he quickly adds, “One cannot serve two masters.”</p><p>“There are two of the Twins,” Strygwyr notes, and Gondar put his palm on the face with a tired groan.</p><p>“Stop it, you know what I mean,” he grumbles. “I…” He chokes on his own words, wondering why it’s so hard to say them out loud. All he can say is, “It’s so hard for me.”</p><p>He sits down on the ground and buries his nose in his own knees. It's hard for him to talk about feelings. It’s hard for him to even think about it. He wants to be his usual calm self but now inside of him are growing terrifying emotions, and he doesn’t know how to cope with them. He can feel Strygwyr sit down next to him and put his hand on his shoulders. He doesn’t feel the urge to push him away. It is quite the opposite… he accepts this timid expression of care. It takes a little while before Gondar hears Strygwyr speak again.</p><p>“I understand. I am sorry.”</p><p>His voice is calm and clear; it makes Gondar lift his head. While Strygwyr and him are looking each other into the eye, their hands are entwining on their own accord.</p><p>“No matter what… the Bloodseeker serves the Twins, and Strygwyr…”</p><p>There he takes his mask off.</p><p>“Strygwyr serves Gondar.”</p><p>Gondar’s heart feels touched again. He wants to say that he doesn’t like it at all, that Strygwyr’s words are ridiculous, but instead he loses control and kisses Strygwyr passionately. Their kisses are always somewhat strange and animal; in fact, they are more of bites and licks because of the peculiar structure of Gondar’s jaw, and this time they’re doing this is no different from others. But still it is a real kiss, it is their own unique way of kissing. Gondar realizes that he doesn’t want to go away <em>forever</em>. He ponders over it.</p><p>“Strygwyr,” Gondar speaks slowly after a while, “I don’t want to change anything between us. It’s good enough as it is now.”</p><p>Strygwyr remains silent; his face betrays traces of disappointment which quickly turns into acceptance. These words have been expected, haven’t they? Gondar has always implied it in his behavior but only now has he said it out loud. His anxiety subsides. Strygwyr pulls Gondar into his embrace and gives him a peck on the top of his head.</p><p>“So be it,” he complies. “You’re leaving now?”</p><p>Gondar suddenly finds himself saying, “No. I’ll stay here.”</p><p>He returns the hug with unusual softness, not even showing his claws. He hears Strygwyr’s surprised gasp and lifts his head. Without further ado, Gondar pulls him into the kiss again, now a calmer and softer one. Maybe Gondar will regret it later. Maybe he will deny everything again, and next time he will defiantly walk away, again. But right now he is not scared. He stays with Strygwyr and finds peace in his arms.</p>
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